Man 'Turned Off' by Wife's Morals After Best Friend's Affair Splits Views

August 12, 2024

A man disappointed by his wife's response to his best friend's affair has divided opinions online.

Sharing his dilemma with Reddit's TrueOffMyChest forum, user u/SorryNotSorry said he'd been best friends with "Jack" since kindergarten. However, Jack recently cheated on his wife Ana with Max, a "girl half his age." This disgusted the poster, who describes Ana as "one of the best human beings I've ever met," driving a wedge in his friendship with Jack.

The affair lasted for two months until Max gave Jack an ultimatum; to leave his wife for her.

"Jack refused and tried to end the affair so Max told Ana everything," the 41-year-old poster explained.

Ana—who the poster describes as "very beautiful, kind and caring"—began divorce proceedings and Jack began seeing his 25-year-old mistress again. He and Max are now an official couple, so the poster's wife's Pat invited them over for dinner.

"She is way more tolerant because I am team Ana and there's nothing Jack can say to make me change my opinion," he said.

Unsurprisingly, the meal was awkward. Max talked about her difficult upbringing, and how lucky she feels to have won a "prize" like Jack.

"She talked about her future with Jack and all the fun they would have," he wrote. "It dawned on me that she didn't know that they couldn't do half of what she is dreaming of with Jack's salary."

Unfortunately for Jack, Ana was the breadwinner in their marriage. She also forced Jack to sign an ironclad prenup, meaning the apartment they shared, his "fancy car" and possessions all belong to his ex.

"Max talked about what she would do to 'their' place, renovation and redecorating. The apartment that Ana bought for her family with her hard earned money," the poster continued. "It brought tears to my eyes. Jack has not told Max the truth."

SorryNotSorry has no intention of informing Max about Jack's financial reality. However, his wife Pat feels differently.

"I was very surprised when Pat angrily told me that I was cruel and callous for not wanting to enlighten Max about her new situation," he said. "My wife thought that Max had a tough life and she deserved to have a good life now."

This led to a huge fight. Pat accused the poster of "caring too much about Ana," while he is "turned off by her morals."

Although "gold diggers" have a bad reputation, relationship therapist Nia Williams said the link between love and money is more nuanced.

"Like all matters of the heart, the pros and cons of such a dynamic are multifaceted," she told Newsweek.

She said the practical advantages of dating for wealth, such as financial security, can seem appealing.

"It may lead to opportunities that were previously out of reach, enhancing one's quality of life," she said.

Nevertheless, a relationship built on a transactional foundation can lack genuine connection.

"The risk of feeling objectified might cloud the potential for authentic love and intimacy," Williams said.

There is also the issue of power dynamics, with the wealthy partner holding most of the cards.

"They may hold an unequal influence over the relationship," Williams said. "This can lead to an imbalance in decision-making and compromise, potentially harming the emotional well-being of the less financially-privileged partner."

Redditors had lots of opinions about SorryNotSorry's friendship drama, with the post receiving more than 17,000 upvotes and 2,800 comments.

Many believe Max will dump Jack when she realizes he's not wealthy, with Afraid_Sense5363 writing: "She's not going to stick around."

"The sole reason she dated this man and thought she caught a prize was money she THOUGHT he had," said Wishiwashome.

"She is going to be gone, off searching for a new sugar daddy soon enough, when she discovers that Jack is actually a loser with no money to buy her anything," commented GlitteringCommunity1.

"Max gets what she deserves for being a gold digger," said angelicdreame. "Jack gets what he deserves for being a Cheat."

However, Creativekinda was convinced that the poster has a "thing for Ana."

"It sounds like OP's wife doesn't like Ana though because she senses OP is attracted to her," agreed Cosmo_Cloudy. "I mean the first thing he says is she's beautiful."

"I'm sure she's feeling a little bit of satisfaction at her being 'taken down a peg,' while also feeling threatened that she's now on the market," said flybyknight665.

However, Pizza_Delivery_Dog believed the dispute between SorryNotSorry and his wife was actually down to differing views on money.

"OP sees a gold digger trying to steal a lifestyle she didn't earn. His wife sees a young woman trying to improve her life after she's been dealt a s***** hand," they said. "The truth is probably somewhere in the middle."

Newsweek reached out to u/SorryNotSorry for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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